So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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