Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
