Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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