so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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