I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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