big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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