Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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