Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize