piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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