Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize