This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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