Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
