I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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