So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
