everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
