I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
