she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize