You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
