What did we do last night that was yellow?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
accomplished twins. life is a go
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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