just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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