So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Just pee around me
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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