These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
