last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Randomize
