You're completely useless in the revolution.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
