I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
you didnt know i had herpes?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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