I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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