People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
