The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
