i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Randomize
