What did we do last night that was yellow?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
