Where is the hickey?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
