he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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