First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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