Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
