I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
