Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(502): View more from Kentucky

im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.

(773): View more from Illinois

Stop texting me, I'm right here.

Fav 8 5697 1769
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(516): View more from New York

id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though

Fav 8 6364 1343
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(228): View more from Mississippi

He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.

Fav 10 1496 3124
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(860): View more from Connecticut

It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.

Fav 2 2871 1113
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(865): View more from Tennessee

I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.

Fav 5 2032 853
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?

Fav 1 1690 619
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?

(603): View more from New Hampshire

that happened

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.

Fav 0 46 17
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(678): View more from Georgia

The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.

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