I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
