I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
