I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
