i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
high people should be assigned attendants
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
