If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize