i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
