he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
