Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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