is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
