I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
