Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
