Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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