Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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