So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
