Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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