I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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