Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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