I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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