If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
