No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
