Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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